My Online Dating Story: How It Took Me From Empty-Handed to Happily Ever After

July 7th, 2021

Online dating can be hit or miss, especially if you’ve never tried it before. It can also be a gold mine of self-discovery — just ask me! Because when you’re looking for love online, you don’t just show your best self. You also show your worst, most awkward and even embarrassing moments and pictures. This is known as the “scanner effect” because we tend to pick out the most flattering photos rather than the ones that reveal something about us that we may not want people to see. But this was the case for me too until I found out how a little bit of patience and a whole lot of faith in yourself could change everything at once. Here’s my story:

My Online Dating Story: How It All Started

When I was 22, I was in a really difficult period in my life. I had just moved back to my native Hong Kong from the U.S. where I’d grown up, and I was struggling to figure out what to do with myself. I was also faced with a major challenge to my identity — I was pansexual. This means that I’m attracted to people regardless of their gender. The pressure I was putting on myself to find a boyfriend was immense. In general, I was still a teenager and was having a lot of growing pains. Everything seemed “off” to me — I wasn’t happy with myself. I was sad and lonely. And I felt like I’d missed out on a lot of life because I’d spent so much of my teenage years overseas. I remember one particularly bad day and how it all clicked into place. I had woken up feeling incredibly blue; I was missing my friends and family in the U.S., and I was stuck in this city where I didn’t know anyone. That’s when it came to me. If I wanted to be truly happy, I just needed to find someone that I wanted to be with. I didn’t need a boy to make me whole.

The First Step in My Online Dating Success

As soon as I finally “got it” and realized that finding someone wasn’t about a relationship at all, it was time to start. I started going on dates with people, looking for my best self in the mirror each day and trying my best to be a good human being. I wasn’t expecting much, but it was incredibly helpful to have a goal in front of me — to see me being a better version of myself each day. I also started posting on dating sites and apps, hoping that finding a partner in this way would be less stressful than face-to-face interactions. I wasn’t even expecting to meet anyone in person yet. I had a limited view of what online dating was like, so I was a little taken aback when I got an invitation to a blind date the very first time I posted something online. It was a guy who lived in the same city as me — we decided to meet for coffee.

The Wait is Over! It’s Time to Meet People in Real Life.

Our coffee date went really well, and we ended up messaging back and forth for a few weeks. When he came to visit me in Hong Kong, I was overwhelmed with happiness and butterflies. I was nervous too, of course, but I kept reminding myself that he was here to meet me, not the person I was online. I had no idea what to expect, but I tried my best to be a good human being. At the same time, I was hesitant to bring up dating or a relationship because I didn’t want to overwhelm him. So I took things slowly and was happy to hang out with him every day and explore the city together while we waited for the right moment to open up the conversation. We had a few dates in the days that followed, and he ended up taking me out for dinner. As I sat across from him, looking into his beautiful eyes, I knew in my heart that he was the one.

The Supernatural Happens: I Hit It Off With a Guy In Real Life.

When we were dating in real life, I was so happy. I was in love and felt so lucky to have found a guy who I could call my boyfriend. Our relationship felt like a dream. We dated for two years, had two amazing years together, and it was the best experience of my life. He was everything to me and I knew I was lucky to have found him. I was truly happy. Then, one day, it all went downhill. I was 24 years old and we were at home when a friend called him to tell him that he’d won a large sum of money in the lottery. He was so excited for his friend that he couldn’t concentrate on anything else. As a result, he didn’t hear the doorbell ring and our friend was hit by a car as he was trying to cross the street. He ended up in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.

Final Words

It’s natural to feel heartbreak when things don’t work out as you’d hoped in your relationship, but you have to remember that it’s only temporary. You’ll get through it. In the meantime, remember that you don’t need a partner to be happy. You only need someone who lifts you up, encourages you to be the best version of yourself and, most importantly, treats you with love and respect. If you can find someone like that, you’re all set.